Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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