i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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