I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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