your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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