I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
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Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
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Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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