My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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