Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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