i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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