You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just want to make out with him forever
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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