you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize