If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize