What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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