You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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