I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize