I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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