I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
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He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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