I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize