If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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