I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
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I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
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I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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