Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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