im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We were destined to go to rehab together
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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