ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
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Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
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Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize