One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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