fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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