At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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