and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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