can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize