every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize