she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
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Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
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