Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
it glows. i had to have it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize