u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize