Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
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We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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