i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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