Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize