he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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