Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize