I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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