So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
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I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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