i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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