Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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