I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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