this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
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I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
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