Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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