3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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