Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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