you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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