Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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