Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My cat gives me a boner
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
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My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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