Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
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Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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