How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can't talk, ducks in the car
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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